The Bit's & Bytes Pages

 Departures - Arrivals . com

By Suzan St Maur

“Powerwriting: the hidden skills you need to transform your business writing”




"The Bit's & Bytes Pages"

We are delighted to introduce Suzan St Maur. She is an experienced copy, speech and script writer as well as an author and columnist. Suzan is not only a business writer but also a great joke compiler (see left panel) and in this capacity we have asked her to write for "the lighter side" of travel.

Please do not forget to visit her homepage for more
information and why not subscribe to her regular e-zines.

Just missed...

A large jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day. The pilot was describing the view to the passengers on the PA system. "If you look out of the starboard side windows, that's on the right, you'll see the Meteor Crater. This is a huge tourist attraction in the north part of Arizona. The crater measures about a mile across and it's nearly 200 yards deep. It was caused by a huge meteor of iron and nickel which hit the Earth at nearly 40,000 miles per hour. The meteor weighed 300,000 tons and was around 50 yards in diameter." Two British passengers were listening to this, when one commented to the other "that was lucky. It only just missed the motorway."

This is the Barringer Crater in Arizona

To learn more about it
click here

Shooting Stars

On one particular flight when the first officer was at the controls, the aircraft had landed very roughly indeed. Unfortunately for him, the policy of the airline concerned required him to stand by the door while the passengers left, smile, and say "thank you for flying Airline X." Bearing in mind his bad landing, he could scarcely look the passengers in the eye, thinking that surely someone would bring up the landing goof. But no-one did. However as the last passenger -an elderly gentleman walking with a Zimmer frame - drew level with the first officer, he stopped. "Young man," he said, "I flew Spitfires in the war. Can I ask you a question?" "Of course, sir," said the first officer. "What is it?" "Well," continued the old veteran, "did we land or were we shot down?"

Walking distance

"Your brochure says this hotel is only five minutes from the beach," shouted the angry tourist to the receptionist. "It took me over half an hour to get there this morning!" "Oh, you walked, did you?" replied the receptionist. "Sorry, but we don't cater for pedestrians."


A woman decided to take her young son on holiday to Canada, and they were on their way to Toronto in a large jet plane. At one point the little lad had an urgent call of nature, so his Mum took him to one of the Economy Class toilets, sent him in, and said she would return for him in five minutes. As luck would have it, the little boy finished early and decided to leave the toilet by himself, to find his own way back to their seats. A businessman who had been waiting for a while gratefully took his place. In the meantime, Mum wandered up to the toilet door and shouted "are you OK, or do you want me to come in and help you do your zip up?"
A surprised man's voice called back, "goodness me, what superb service."

Jokes © Suzan St Maur - Pitures © Internet
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